While it’s nice to think that we know what’s best for ourselves, it’s important to acknowledge how much our subconscious affects our decisions. It’s only when you understand what drives you that you can take control and create the life, body, or relationships you want.
Author, motivational speaker, and mega entrepreneur Tony Robbins has talked about the Six Human Needs – the underlying things that drive our behavior and determine why we do what we do.
Each and every human has 4 basic needs and 2 spiritual needs:
- Certainty – We need to feel secure, to know we have all of our needs met, whatever that may be to an individual. This is the part of us that resists change.
- Uncertainty – We all need variety, to not feel bored in life.
- Significance – We all need significance in some way – to feel as if we are unique, to receive recognition, to know we hold a place of importance in the world.
- Love/connection – This can be with other people, communities, or even animals. But we need to feel connected to something living beyond ourselves.
5. Growth – There’s a phrase that says “if you’re not growing, you’re dying.” Underlying in every human is the need to grow, learn, and become better.
6. Contribution – All humans have a desire to give back and contribute to the world in a way that is bigger than themselves.
We all have 2 primary driving needs (almost always from the BASIC category), and often these needs are in conflict with each other.
So imagine, one’s two driving needs are certainty and love/connection. These two driving needs can work just fine if the owner is conscious of them, if they’re in tune to their needs and can make practical decisions based on this knowledge of their subconscious.
But can you see how challenging life could be for this same person if they’re unaware? This person gets stuck in bad relationships, doesn’t stick up for themselves when there’s conflict in the work place, etc.
Am I making sense?
What is your primary need? Can you guess your secondary?
Which needs could you focus on to make your life more powerful, meaningful, and fulfilling?
Reality is that we will give up on our desires, dreams, and our personal values to meet these needs.
If we want to build a business but significance is our driving need, we will struggle for the fact that putting ourselves out there and risking rejection is more painful than losing the dream.
If certainty is our driving need, it can keep us from changing the habits we need to change to alter our bodies.
But consciousness of your needs is EVERYTHING when it comes to taking control.
Can you think of a time in your life when you let go of a dream or talked yourself out of a desire to subconsciously fulfill your driving need?
I think this is super fascinating, and it’s truly changed my approach to life. I hope you find value in it too.